Maybe you might wish to read in order to find out more……
But please don’t delete.
Not just yet.
Give it a chance.
We all deserve the occasional indulgence, or at least our ego’s do.
So let’s start…….
Long time no see, hear, read, write, listen, delete etc etc.
No, no no no!!! Please, hear me out.
Let me at least attempt to start this blog (from the weakest of all blogger’s….ever…..) with something that you might possibly want to continue reading.
Something that if and when you actually make it to the bottom of the page, it actually makes you think and say to yourself……
“You know what, I’m going to leave a comment…”
Don’t be silly!
People such as us like to live in the shadows.
We understand how to live on the cusp of the extremities in the binary world of 1’s and 0’s
But regardless of any opinion, we do still live…..
And we are exceptional people because we read these publications, we may even believe it to be wisdom even if we know this platform is the bloggers equivalent to the psychiatrists couch….
So please, I implore you to think, to consider and above all, leave that comment.
Good or bad, positive or negative it really doesn’t matter at this stage, we are all entitled to an opinion so lets use that entitlement.
After all, opinions are like a$$holes, everyone has one… so why not use it (opinion not a*****e!!) to show that this format still exists, still works, still matters and you have maybe spent enough concentration on the screen and not your digestive dunker to understand and digest it’s content.
Anyway, as usual I am ahead of myself so lets get back to the start of this possibly seminal publication…….
For some reason I find myself back here again.
Actually, I do know the reason, but at this stage of my creative process, please allow me a certain amount of vagary in order to encourage today’s article to follow it’s natural flow..
I know I posted earlier in the year and I know I promised faithfully that I would to continue to do so.
Maybe not necessarily on a daily basis but maybe once a fortnight, maybe once a month, hopefully once a quarter but definitely at least once every 6 months, surely….?
Well that was my plan.
And that failed.
I’d like to state for the record that I did have every intention of doing as I said but…..
We we all know what good intentions bring. Especially for the likes of us guys who feel the need to share our thoughts with the WWW in the first place.
I can easily blame my work load.
As I am sure we all can.
I can also easily blame the fact that if there were expectations of creative writing of any format then it should possibly have been concentrated on existing works such as a re-write of those two screenplay’s or the continuation of THAT novel – even though all three projects continuously vie for the premium accessible space on the regularly accessed word processor’s hard drive.
But given that not a word has changed in any of those stories for over a year (August last year in fact, when I took myself off to France for three weeks in order to attempt concentration on the novel) then in good conscience I really can’t offer that as any kind of an excuse.
In reality, blogging and any life I may have had back then has long since ceased to exist on a regular (see daily) basis as everything connected to me and my new life has changed beyond all recognition.
Back then I started out talking to the world when I could barely move, and I believe it became what it did because people were fascinated by my weight, my story, my issues…..
And many of you know, as I went through the pain of all these many issues, I laundered many of them if not all in public.
Yes, I CHOSE to share, I even chose to accept my own culpability in an obviously self inflicted issue and by doing so, I opened myself up to the world.
But from that choice, it must be agreed I have faced much that others could not contemplate even though many of those demons disappeared along with the story I was hoping to tell.
Regardless of this I count myself as fortunate, maybe even lucky to have received the surgery from Bruno Sgromo and Richard Gillies and state emphatically I appreciate all of the support offered freely by so many and acknowledge that through this support I have been changed completely.
And as life changed I appreciated the second chance but unfortunately as things resolved with my weight, other factors took up.
After all, life is life and that was what I was going to be exposed to.
Like a normal person expected to live every day because thats what happens.
Life continues – if we’re lucky and I was…….
But now looking back on the experience I can say that in my case it threw up many more issues than just being obese.
After all, my fat bubble had burst and it was time to let the real world back in…
I was once again part of that everyday but it required I learn it all over once more.
Unfortunately learning brought back desires, it brought back hopes and fears and it brought back long forgotten dreams.
And thats when things began to go wrong.
I say go wrong but in all honesty I don’t mean that even though I do (weird enough for you?)
I always had my weight as a reason for not having a partner, for not being able to move very well, for not going out, for not being expected not to drink too much or eat the wrong food.
Then all of a sudden it was gone.
I had nothing to blame.
Life had finally dealt me a winning hand and it was up to me to do something with it and not let myself down.
I could no longer whinge and whine. I had to be positive and I had to move on.
And I had to show that the opportunity is the mark of what I am.
But resetting takes time and new issues take place so very easily. It is relearning life, it is trying to cope with life the same as everyone else. I was finding my place in the world for a second time and dealing with all of the knocks that can get thrown our way.
I think it’s called LIVING.
Not moaning. Not bleating, not worrying about what if’s, who’s, why’s, when’s where’s etc etc
And from that realisation I now believe finally we live up to our own personal situations, deal with them without excuse and maybe consider the possibility that the writing of our daily blog no longer enhances the world in which we now live, no matter how funny or creative it may be.
We have exorcised our demons, unburdened our issues to a point where we really should consider we no longer need to pay the blogging piper even if as I said, it might continue to serve to act as our own free leather confessional couch.
Do not get me wrong, there are MANY exceptions to this rule. Many of the people I follow (McCupcakes, Stephellaneous, Half Baked…..) are some of the most erudite and witty non/ professional writers I have ever had the pleasure of reading but they are not examples of what I am trying to impart. They write because they are fun, have something to say and are not bleating.
This is why they have lasted longer than 36 months and many of us, myself included have failed to get beyond that terminal shelf life…….
But I finish sheepishly by saying this article is only my own opinion. It airs my belief that we must acknowledge everything has a shelf life, especially writing about our own daily experiences once our original story has been covered and, in most cases, conquered.
Maybe its because I have shared everything that I was initially troubled with I have nothing else to say.
Maybe its because I finally realised after all, that my life was very unremarkable and not that much different to anyone else’s (apart from the obvious obesity issues) even though I went on and on and on about it ad nauseam…..
I would like to think not.
Mind you, I could start a new blog.
But that would be a NEW blog and therefore be a new subject and therefore a new issue and therefore might possibly prove my point…..
However, personally I understand that what I achieved served it’s purpose.
In any walk of life we all look back to our own experiences in order to offer wisdom, although if I ask myself when did my experience and wisdom run out? When did I simply just pay lip service to the culture of blogging? Even though knowing that what I said was the expected thing to say and not what I really thought?
Pretty soon after I started I would think….
Over my many blogs (was it 500?) I covered many subjects with both much and little knowledge but always making out I was waxing lyrical from my very own experiences.
I am therefore either well learned, well experienced or just a great big blowhard that wants people to listen to me and comment about the latest words of wisdom I have deigned to impart upon my fawning followers…..
As I say guys, maybe it all has a shelf life and once that pony has been tamed, it may be time to move on a catch another ….
Head first into the fridge everyone.