I am here with you….*
Good morning world and thanks for tuning in to the last day of the working week, here on Planet Magnet…
What a great week this has been, lots to do and plenty has been accomplished. People seen, coffee’s had, catch ups completed along with working, writing, chores and much more. In fact yesterday whilst I was working I had tuned out so much (due to the tedious nature of the job in question) that when I came back to reality I thought I was talking to myself, only when I discovered my lips weren’t moving I realised I was having an internal dialogue with myself…..
Oh yes, this one here has internal dialogues with himself when he isn’t paying attention. How scary is that!
To describe what it is like, imagine when you type a text or you write an email or write a blog post and as you write you talk the story out loud, or under your breath so that you are clear in what you are writing down and that it makes sense. It is both an odd and pleasant feeling. Hopefully your lips don’t move when you are doing any of the activities in public, but hey, if they do, who cares? People can think what they want can’t they…!
Anyway, as I thought about my internal dialogue, I wondered if I was alone in doing this or if there are many more of us out there, roaming free in the world, getting on with life simply having perfectly acceptable conversations with ourselves in the privacy of our own heads…..?
I have known for a good long while that I use my “quiet time” as an opportunity to let my mind wander and consider different scenarios. I also know that this is a healthy thing to do because it allows you to re run things in your mind and consider different outcomes from what might have been said and should you ever be in that position again, you are more likely to react in the sensible cerebral way etc.
However, yesterday I was having a full blown internal dialogue with myself discussing the amount of things I had left to achieve with the work I am currently doing, the different ways I could approach my walk in the summer, the conversations I might have with the media at this time, the talks that I might give to school children over the coming months as we prepare to get them involved in walking, the coming weekend and what I might do or say should I spend time with certain people, how I might verbalise conversations I am thinking about and finally (although there are many, many more things that I think about and discuss with myself) what I might say in the video that I make today about the Worlds Biggest Fridge Magnet and the Kittens….
Now I am sure that this is quite okay to behave like this, it may well even be healthy but I am always a little concerned how “involved” I become in each scenario or conversation I am running through my head at any given time and how I even make up scenarios that may or may not happen. Now I am not saying that I take the stance of two separate people in my mind and have a conversation as though they are in my head and I am not saying that I hear voices but I definitely do have dialogues.
Like I said, Weirdo…. 😉
I suppose to this extent it is healthy because it helps me work through issues and solve problems that might have been bugging me. It helps me to re-arrange my thought processes so that I might get things straight in my mind.
In a way I suppose it is the same as discussing things with others so that you can get them off of your chest rather than harbouring all of that negative energy and feelings.
If I am honest, I think I have had this on-going dialogue in my head for many years and for many years it has served me well and at times has even kept me company. Actually, I can now give you a prime example of what I happens as I have literally just experienced one of my “episodes” as I write this post.
I have just created a situation that I may or may not find myself dealing with in the future, making up issues that such a situation brings up. Now these would be considered daydreams BUT, I believe they cannot simply because I actually verbalise the arguments or disagreements I have with people when I feel they have let me down, taken me for granted or simply not considered my feelings. This in itself is completely ridiculous, because I am dreaming up issues that will probably never happen but my fertile imagination creates them and then my brain reacts to the imagination, resulting in me having disagreements with people who up until this point have been simply nothing but polite, friendly, sweet and nice to me….!
I think a certain amount of over thinking is happening in this scenario and I am allowing my chimp’s imagination to run wild and not my human’s imagination to be in control, but it still happens and it still only happens in my head…!
So whilst it is healthy in some respects, I can see it’s toxicity in other parts as it dictates my feelings to me and decides whether I am happy or sad just because of a ridiculous thought about a future episode that will most likely NEVER happen.
For now though, I think I shall continue to work things out but keep that chimp at bay, keep his silly thoughts out of my pictures and all will be good with the world, even if a little bit crazy….
Am I alone after all? Do you have a brain that works like this?
Stay out of the fridge.
*Michael Jackson – You Are Not Alone.