Good afternoon world and thanks for tuning in to another day here on Planet Magnet. I have chosen write the blog a little later than normal today because I wanted to let you know how my trip to see the Counsellor this morning panned out and how she answered my queries about the massive disparity between new body brain and old body brain.
So this morning I was fortunate enough to be able to start the first of six sessions with Kathleen, at my local Health Centre. A bit of a result as far as I was concerned because usually to see anyone in this capacity, it would mean a trip to a major city or Oxford at the very least. This means I was able to take my time and be relaxed about the whole thing, or as relaxed as I can be whenever I am experiencing something new….
The meeting started off in a peculiar fashion (or at first I thought it was a little odd until I realised why) with Kathleen coming out to greet me in the waiting room and then showing me to a lift. She explained the her office was on the first floor and in future I would simply be called and have to make my way to that lift. She opened the door for me, told me to press the Level 1 button and then she left me in the lift and used the stairs herself. By the time the door re-opened, she was waiting for me outside. I exited and followed her to the office we were to have the meeting in.
Like I say, a little weird but then when we arrived at the office I realised it was all about anxiety and panic and the fact she guided me through exactly what needed to be done was the perfect way to avoid these two prevalent destructive emotions. She had basically taken the fear out of what was happening by being a touch irreverent and at the same time it had shown me where I need to go each session whilst not over thinking it.
So we sat down and started to complete the assessment forms to see how crazy I am, forms to see if I am likely to harm myself (not a chance, too soft for that) or try to take my own life (no way, not after the great year I have had 🙂 ) I was then asked about my past and how my family was set up, how my father and mother figured in my life and what my love life was or was not.
I explained that my father was no longer with us and that long ago I had worked through and resolved any issues I may have had with him. We discussed my weight loss and the fact that I have a negative body image expressing a desire that we would work on this. I also raised the fact that the brain has not caught up with the body so I would like to work on this also. We discussed my love life (or lack there of!) and strangely she understood that for now I am relatively happy with what is happening in my life where I am very close to a friend who seems to fulfil most of my relationship requirements whilst still allowing me to feel able to grow and change into the person I so wish to become.
The most amazing thing was her thoughts on my relationship with my mother. As you guys know, I am very close to mum but most definitely NOT a mummy’s boy by any stretch of the imagination. However, she did note that even though I had left home many years ago I had not actually “left home” by virtue of the fact I had always stayed local to keep an eye on Mother. At first I thought this an odd thing to say but as I mulled the point over I began to understand what she meant. Mum is one of my best friends and someone I go to in times of need whether financially or emotionally. She has always been there for me and I have possibly let this relationship continue by feeling that I need to be around to make sure she is okay.
Even though I now know there is a much greater detail to be discussed on this subject, I did find it quite amazing that it should be raised as I had never thought of it before today.
Anyway, in summary I can honestly say that the entire experience was almost enjoyable. It was most definitely relaxed and helpful but more importantly an experience completely so far removed from the one described by a Word Press friend last week, that you do have to question the terrible treatment she received compared to the treatment I received. To that end I came away feeling good about nearly everything and now know that after this initial assessment we will be able to talk openly and freely and the Psychologist will have some good guidance to offer on any single thing I wish to discuss.
Today, as I said, was an assessment to determine the severity of my needs (no severity), my current emotional state (very good) and what I wanted to talk about going forward (poor self image, the fact that I feel there is something missing from my life, my relationship with food and now after 25 years after doing so, finding out why I have still not yet left home….) Today she posed many psychological questions but from next Monday on, she will listening be simply and advising on any points that I wish to raise so there will hopefully be a report on these that might possibly answer some of your fears should they be similar to mine.
So I now have homework for the week. I am required to take a long hard look at myself and think of any questions relating to the issues identified in the meeting.
Crazy really, when I left the house this morning I believed I was a strong, smart independent man. Now it turns out I am 47, still “living at home” and as usual, will most probably put off doing my homework until the very last minute….
Stay out of the fridge.