Good morning world and thank you for tuning in. It’s me, the Worlds Biggest Fridge Magnet and I’ve come to drop some wisdom on you.
Well, perhaps not, but I think the point I shall make today is a very valid one.
The whole idea for this post came from something a friend of mine posted on Facebook yesterday and it struck such a chord with me I felt I had to share with you guys because it is one of the most misunderstood things we have all suffered from in our lives.
Exactly as the little cartoon shows, in order to be truly happy, we must make that happiness ourselves.
This means we cannot buy it, manufacture it or get it from another person.
Yes, these three things do make most of us happy momentarily, they even make some of us happy and fulfilled in completion. We can buy ourselves something new like a new car, a new watch, a new computer etc then yes we will have an instant gratification high but it doesn’t always last because pretty soon it is just a watch, just a car or just a computer. We can also manufacture our own happiness by perhaps watching something that makes us feel good, that takes us out of ourselves that stops us thinking about our own lives. Perhaps we might go for a bike ride or to the gym and push ourselves to the point here our brains are flooded with endorphins created by the exercise and that will give us the high and the smile that we have been looking for, but again it soon goes. This action might help some of us all of the time because we chose to lose ourselves to these worlds, but others it is just a break from the norm.
Alternatively – and this is one of the worst things to do, we can turn to other people to make us happy, to validate us, to give us a reason for being, to make us feel loved, worthy, special, needed.
We look to others for validation.
Yet I believe that none of this is really what makes most of us truly happy. Certainly I will grant you that people take different roads toward their happiness and none are any better than the other because you must do what you truly believe in in your own heart to make yourself happy. Yes, I agree that most of the above things are all parts of the ingredients to a happy life. Lets face it there are very, very few of us that could sit alone on a mountain top, devoid of all goods, human contact, necessity for movement and without stimulation and still be happy so as humans we are programmed to desire things, to desire nice objects and that is okay as long as we know that these object are not a replacement for loving ourselves, for genuinely appreciating ourselves and for absolutely 100% knowing we are at peace with ourselves because lets face it, if you don’t like yourself, there is very little that will fill that hole apart from some kind of escape, whether it be controlled masking or total oblivion.
I am lucky enough (perhaps lucky isn’t the right word) to say that I have been in ALL camps that I speak of. I have gone down the line of total oblivion where I have escaped from myself by touring around the pubs with friends, drinking until there was no more and then going home to bed only to rise the next day and do it all over again. But this never got me anywhere. I only felt worse as each day came along and was so much poorer because this lifestyle is an expensive one let me tell you.
I have also sat indoors and eaten, harmed my health for the sake of trying to make myself happy, yet all I really got was extremely overweight and very lonely.
As the Dalai Lama says ‘Happiness is not something ready made, it comes from your own actions”
Now you can get on board with this totally, partially or not at all but I honestly believe that in this day of gadgets and widgets and ownership and status much of who we really are falls by the wayside. We judge ourselves on what we have not what we have accomplished. We measure ourselves on our banks accounts not what we do with our money and we also judge our fellow man before setting down to talk to them and getting to know what makes them tick, simply because we may not like the way they look, the sound of their religion, the colour of their skin, the size of their body etc etc.
I’m not saying don’t strive for success, don’t go without but don’t do these things at a cost to your own personal belief system. You must be true to yourself. If you are happiest overweight then it’s an unhealthy choice but it’s where you are happiest so try to accommodate that lifestyle but be a little healthier, have a quality of life. If you are happiest working all hours and saving for a rainy day, be careful that you don’t wear yourself out because you may never get to see that rainy day….
So really and truly as the cartoon says, you make your own happiness and perhaps it is safe to say the best of it comes from taking a step back and considering if you really do need that new object of desire, you really do need to wipe your body out with physical activity or you really do need to make yourself feel better by measuring yourself against another persons failings.
I know that personally I have a bloody long way to go but in light of the recent events, I think the world might be a better place if we looked at happiness as something we MAKE and not something we BUY, because making it involves others and involving others is what brings us together.
Stay out of the fridge.