Calm Down Dear! It’s Only A Commercial….

These were the famous words of Michael Winner when appearing on a daft UK Car Insurance commercial. Mind you, daft the advert may have been, the words have stuck with me for a goodly while for sure and for todays blog I firmly believe they can be described as apt.

As you guys know I have started to attend a course that includes modules on Confidence, Stress Management and other issues that are sent to try us in our daily lives.

Yes, I know that on the first day of the course I actually got off to an inauspicious start by having a full on anxiety attack, but after a calming chat on the telephone with the course tutor, I was able to gather my thoughts and turn up for the afternoons lesson which turned out to be a good deal less of an issue than I had built up in my mind, so much so the next week I was able to attend the entire day of the course and learnt a good deal able why I have allowed myself to get stressed over the past several years.

I have in the past written about my chimp side and my human side and how my chimp is my emotional hijacker who runs away with my thoughts and leaves my human feeling vulnerable and confused. It reacts about five times quicker than my human and therefore as soon as it is in receipt of whatever stimulus it is given, if my human does not grab a hold of it and calm it down, then it will react with emotion and nine times out of ten, will react incorrectly.

Viktor E. Frankle said “Between stimulus and response there is a space and in that space lies our choice of response and in that choice lies our freedom”

This is something that I must learn to add to my daily life because if I don’t take advantage of the space then I will have no say in the choice I make in my response because my chimp will already be well ahead of me and will have decided that his course of action is far more suitable than my human’s choice.

Ways of dealing with this and creating the space I need are many and varied. There is nothing that says you must answer a question as soon as it is asked, no one minds if you consider for a second or two, no one minds if you are more measured in your response because it generally means you have listened and are giving a considered reply. All too often we listen to reply and not listen to hear then reply. All too often we are formulating our response before the person we are interacting with has finished what they are saying and all too often this nearly always happens when there is some heat in the conversation and a considered or measured answer can take the sting out of it and stop the situation escalating unnecessarily, thus meaning we remain calmer and do not allow the stress to take hold of us, the anxiety to dictate that it is in charge or the ridiculous knee jerk reaction to occur.

When we are on our own it is very much easier to deal with. Perhaps all we need do is some breathing exercises or make a cup of tea, maybe even perhaps leave the area we are currently stood and walk for a short distance until our head is back in the game and we are once again in control of our emotions.

However, if you are with someone and they are fast becoming the cause of your issue, there is nothing that says you cannot ask for a moment, nothing that says you would like to sit down, nothing that says you cannot have a glass of water and certainly nothing that says you are not allowed to pause, collect your thoughts and gather that little piece of space you need in order to make that choice and thus gain your freedom from the thing that is making you uncomfortable.

For years I have struggled with stress, anxiety or confrontation. All three of them manage only one thing and that is not feeling good about yourself. They are all three destructive elements to our lives and all three do the same thing, they make us doubt our ability. So if the difference between me doubting myself and me feeling good is simply me giving myself some space, I think I may start practising a new mantra and start asking people to “Mind the Gap”.

FOOD DIARY:Monday 12th October 2015

Qty Measure Food Calories (gr) Protein (gr) Carbs (gr) Fat (gr)
 
Breakfast  2  75gms Rye Bread Toasted with Cashew Butter  416  12.48  73.7  13.2
Lunch  1 Small Bowl  Chilli Con Carne  245  27  14  8
Dinner  1 Small Bowl Homemade Cottage Pie 306  26  21  17
Snacks  2  12gms  Cheddar Cheeses  100  6  0  8
 2  400mls  Tea  11.8  0  0.8  0
 1  400mls  Latte  105  6  9  4
Totals  1183.8  77.48  118.5  50.2
Water  2  500mls  Mineral Water

Food from Monday was pretty good considering I had to wait until gone 9pm to have the Cottage Pie. This was my own fault for not getting the meat out of the freezer the day before to allow it to defrost! This put the entire procedure back by a good few hours hence the lateness of the completion of the pie and the subsequent eating!
However, the outcome was good and the days figures were okay given that there was only a relatively short walk to burn off the calories.

Yesterday there was supposed to be a a good amount of exercise to be completed, starting off with the usual dog walk, but unfortunately the day kind of ran away with me doing little jobs here and there and going to the Dentist only to end up being there for over an hour including waiting and my appointment. This had a knock on effect on the day, plus writing some of this post, setting up a friends TV system and finally walking the dog left me with about 20 minutes in which I could go to the gym before all of the 5 O’clock heroes come in after their day at work and take over the world! I love the gym but one thing is for sure, I don’t love it when it is crowded and overrun with too many people trying to look beautiful.
So because of that I decided that I would leave it and return home to cook a few things for the freezer and fridge and do some writing. I know this is not the most energetic thing in the world to do but with only a short walk with the dog, I still managed over half of my daily target so it wasn’t too shabby after all.

This means that the Jawbone Up2 is once again holding me accountable for my actions and making sure I don’t sit on the couch or in front of my computer all day so as ever, here is the screenshot to prove I am not completely sedentary!

IMG_2298

‘Till tomorrow,

Stay out of the fridge.

29 thoughts on “Calm Down Dear! It’s Only A Commercial….

  1. Emma says:

    this is beautiful, just learning myself the ‘pause for thought ” approach, as anything before this can come from fear, it shuts out the bad but you don’t give the gd things a chance ! so deep 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. sleeveforme22 says:

    I love this and it is something I actively practice. I repeat in my own head “I’m comfortable with silence” before I respond especially when I’m asked a question that goes beyond a yes/no response.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. New Journey says:

    good post….and I love the Mind The Gap thought…I was luck and learned in my younger years that of anything your in control of is the fact you are allowed to stop and take a breath….I used to always excuse myself to the ladies room as that was a normal thing to do…go in get my head on straight…do some breathing exercises and then go back into the stressful situation that I wanted to run from…that would be in my working life…I am not sure why I never practiced that in my personal life when I would loose control to my rebel chimp!!! funny how one area of our lives is in complete control and the other is swinging from the trees….so glad I was finally able to get it together in both my lives…and I am right there with you about the gym…I always go on the off times…I do however get quite a kick watching the boys/men trying to be all macho with each other…reminds me of the primate world…LOL…good numbers my friend and really good post…thanks

    Liked by 1 person

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