So the day of rest has finally arrived.
What will you be doing with yourself?
Me? Well I shall be taking the dog on a nice long walk, heading as usual up to the Ridgeway and taking in the amazing scenery and sights along the way.
However, several years ago, this would have been unheard of. Sunday for me was always about meeting the guys in the pub, having some drinks and watching the football. Back then, not only was I a smoker and more than happy to consume many many pints of lager over the course of the day (and it was the day because we would start at opening time -11am and finish at closing time – 12am) but I always compounded my calorific intake by heading home via the Kebab shop, Chinese takeaway or Pizza parlour.
I write in my header “Amazing How Things Change” but in all honesty, they had to. The life I was living was simply NOT sustainable. There is NO WAY that my body could cope with the lifestyle I was putting it through. There was NO WAY my mind could cope with all of the hate I felt for myself, all of the anxiety I felt, all of the self doubt and poor self image. I think the way that Lao Tsu said “If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace then you are living in the present” summed up my life pretty well. I was unable to cope with the coming life that was presented to me, unable to cope with what had gone before and as for living in the present and being at peace, well that was only a pipe dream I am sure.
I worked hard and I played hard. I thought that was all there was to life. I carried on this lifestyle even when my friends had calmed down and stopped. I would still be out. I simply found new people to go out with, new people to hang around with, new people to make me feel good.
I am amazed I lasted as long as I did. I was lucky enough to never develop Diabetes, to suffer from high Blood Pressure, to have any Pulmonary issues of any kind. All that I did was get older, more unhealthy and more unhappy until I hit the breaking point and decided to seek help.
I was speaking to someone the other day about the amount of steps I have to climb in my building before I am at my front door. I was relaying my story about how before my operation I never went out without absolutely everything and if I had forgotten something I would seriously consider whether I actually needed it or not before having to walk back up all of the stairs I had just descended, yet now I literally ran up and down the steps instead of limping my way slowly to the top. It was at this point when he said it was probably the fact that I had to climb the steps that kept me going as long as I had done without issue. At first we treated it as a throwaway remark but the more I consider it, the more I honestly believe he had a good point well made.
You see it only take the smallest amount of activity to keep us from falling over the edge and weirdly it was lucky that I lived on the top floor and had to scale 48 steps each time I came home. Now this may not sound like much but consider putting that 25 stone (350lbs/159kgs) on one leg and having to push up, then repeat with the next leg, then repeat etc etc.
I know I had a little wobble a couple of weeks ago but on the whole I have to say that today I now try to live my life by another of Lao Tsu’s teachings “When I let go of what I am, I might become what I might be” I know that I am a good way from actually becoming the man I want to be but I am closer than I have been in many years. A healthy diet and lifestyle make you more centred and at ease with yourself. It is a known fact that before you can be at ease with or love anyone else you must first be at ease with or love yourself, which makes perfect sense because if you don’t rate you then how do you think anyone else is going to rate you.
I am currently on this journey of mine (even though I abhor the word journey when used in this frame of reference) and honestly as each day passes I become happier and more centred. I have no idea what happened at the beginning of the week to make this so but it is as though a switch were thrown and I can now see the forrest through the trees and am understanding more and more what I am to do and how I am to get there. I know it will not be easy, I am sure I will make mistakes along the way but compared to this time last year, you would certainly agree it really is amazing how things change.
FOOD DIARY:Friday 18th September 2015
|Qty||Measure||Food||Calories (gr)||Protein (gr)||Carbs (gr)||Fat (gr)|
|1||Small||Lean Bacon Rasher||122||26||0||17.5|
|2||50gms||Six Seeded Brown Batch Toasted||136||11.6||31.6||9|
|Lunch||2||83gms||BBQ Marinaded Salmon Fillet||416||40||8.4||24.6|
|Dinner||1||150gms||Spicy Mediterranean Chicken||172||33.4||1.3||3.4|
|1||95gms||Fiery Chilli and Almond Pesto||212||4||5||18.6|
So the food for Friday wasn’t too bad if I am honest, carbs were kept low which is ideal considering I was on an enforced rest day after my knee started to play up. The reason the fats were up is only because there was fish and a pesto sauce with nuts in so these fats are both acceptable.
There was no exercise yesterday and no walking so to speak although I did take the dog out for a little meander after I returned from helping my friend with his narrowboat. This means no Polar H7 or Map May Walk screenshots for a second day but my Jawbone Up2 still read a sensible 8713 steps for the day.
Stay out of the fridge.