I Must Be More Cameron And Less Chimp

Hello for only the second time this week to the readers of the Worlds Biggest Fridge Magnet Blog.

Once again apologies for having been delinquent in my duties but when I say I have been poorly, I really have been poorly!

I have had this in the past for sure but never quite so virulent that it kept me in bed for three days, up and moving gingerly on the fourth; and now on the fifth day I am only just starting to feel semi-human.

I now know I overdid my relaxation time on Thursday evening, Friday, Saturday and Sunday and therefore my immune system was completely shot away with alcohol. This would have definitely helped the little bug take a firm old of me and get the free accommodation it wanted in my gut for a few days.

To this end I shall state that I must now consider myself Tee-Total because I truly do not want to EVER be back in the place I was over the weekend and suffering the way I have over the past four days. I didn’t spend fifteen years suffering as an overweight person and I didn’t put myself through all of this pain and humiliation in order to throw it away on stupid lifestyle choices. Too many people have invested too much time for me to simply get halfway and then throw it back in their faces, especially when you consider the pain and suffering out there in the world. To be honest, I think I should be ashamed of my behaviour. Yes, admittedly Gastroenteritis was the reason for feeling crap for the past four days but there was something above my own control that made me feel terrible over the weekend. But now thanks to a very dear friend treating me with some tough love, I think she may have given me a clue in defining exactly where some of these problems may lay.

After her recommendation I started to listen to an audio book by a Prof Steve Peters called The Chimp Paradox and am now starting to understand that sometimes even though in the past I wanted to make good decisions and not drink or not overeat or not get angry, my inner chimp was the one taking the decision making process from me the human and setting me off on the immediate wrong foot instead of me considering the consequences.

Up until this weekend, I thought I had curtailed these issues but it turns out there are still one or two I am yet to sort and these are the ones to do with my old lifestyle breaking through and ruining my new idea of clean and healthy living. Now if I had simply been able to go to the pub on Thursday evening for an hour then go home, I know for a fact that I would have stayed away on Friday, not gone out on Saturday evening and been a different person on Sunday by not even bothering and concentrating on family and friends instead of myself. Now I won’t go into the details of what happened but it was not my finest hour. There was no fighting or idiocy but a certain amount of melancholy found it’s way in and I am only just beginning to feel as though I am knocking it back into it’s rightful place of nowhere because I should have NOTHING to feel melancholic for.

But the weekends reason for this melancholy? Well it turns out I allowed my chimp to take over my thoughts and feelings instead of having my human look at things realistically and sensibly. I allowed feelings instead of thoughts to control and that in itself resulted in the main part of my problem. I became unreasonable and wasn’t able to see I had absolutely nothing to be upset about. I was self pitying and probably looking for an excuse to carry on with my behaviour. Maybe it had been building a while. Maybe it was linked with the mourning of my old life, maybe it was linked with a lack of social interaction I was about to be undertaking. There could have been a myriad of reasons for it but whatever they were, I didn’t manage the situation and allowed myself to feel bad which only resulted in problems where there absolutely should have been none. Because of my behaviour and selfishness I upset one of my dearest friends and for that I am finding it hard to forgive myself and hope that one day she can forgive me.

Well, I will bring this tale of woe to an end because I do not believe this is the correct forum to air my misfortunes and bad behaviour, but will end by saying that fortunately today I am on the mend. Still not 100% but on my way and I am learning from the Chimp Paradox that I the human must be more in control. I have a long way to go but it is interesting and involving so very much doubt it will be a chore to learn. My human is keen to get back to full strength and take on the world but also knows that I cannot be smashing it at the gym just yet because I barely have the energy to be writing this. Still, a little healthy eating and a little gentle movement will soon see me back to my former glory and talking of glory, below I am sharing my vital statistics for the month.

The measurements are taken with un-flexed muscles.

Neck……18.3″ down by 0.5″
Chest……49.5″ down by 0.7″
Bicep Left……17.0″ down by 0.2″
Bicep Right……17.2″ down by 0.2″
Forearm Left……12.7″ down by 0.3″
Forearm Right……13.2″ down by 0.1″
Waist……47″ down by 2″ – How do I wear size 36″ Levi Jeans???
Hips……45.5″ down by 1.8″
Left Leg Top……24″ down by 1.2″
Right Leg Top……24.6″ down by 0.9″
Left Calf……18.5″ down by 1″
Right Calf……18.7″ down by 1.1″

A loss on EVERY measurement so was totally happy with that to be sure.

Peak Flow Rate (the rate at which you can expel air from your lungs) was measured and found that it had stayed at an average of 587.5 l/m. We also measured my Resting Heart Rate and found it 72 BPM which is an decrease of 7 BPM which probably which will relate to the increase in Cardio Vascular training.

Blood pressure has pretty much stayed the same at 119/80 so these are all great numbers.

The weight is registered now on the gym scales at 114 on the button so just about 17.13 stone after a loss of 5 Kg’s. I was extremely pleased with this figure as you would imagine although last night after the illness I weighed myself on the home scales at 110.9 kgs which means the illness took 3.1kgs off in a week. Hopefully this will go back up as I need to lose the weight sensibly and that is too quick although most will be fluid loss. Mind you, the most amazing thing is that a T shirt I bought a couple of weeks ago that was too tight is now wearable in the space of a fortnight. Unreal!

There are no training figures today as there was no training. No point in screenshots of gentle stroll’s (even though there were three!) and no point in showing Polar H7 shots when the whole point is too keep my H.R low as I recuperate.

All will start to come back soon with the food diary first as I start again to eat because honestly nothing has been passing my lips for days!

My jawbone Up2 however was brought back into practise on Wednesday night and it showed just how much I slept after going to bed at 8.30 in the evening and not waking until 9am! I obviously needed the sleep otherwise I would have been earlier to rise but regardless, I don’t think I have ever had a sleep reading that high! The steps weren’t too bad either with three gentle walks taking up time as well as making me feel better so a final days total of over 12,000 steps was good considering I was still convalescing.

IMG_1900

‘Till tomorrow,

Stay out of the fridge.

10 thoughts on “I Must Be More Cameron And Less Chimp

  1. sleeveforme22 says:

    Glad to see you back and feeling better! I think we all go through stages of mourning throughout this process. As you know, what matters is how you bounce back! I’ve luckily been able to stay clear of alcohol since my pre-op days. I miss a glass of wine, I won’t lie. I keep telling myself that I can’t add it until I’m at goal. I’ve been in so many social situations where I’ve almost felt like the odd man out because I wasn’t having a glass, but I remind myself how strong I’m being and somehow instead of mourning I get that “watch me” mentality. Anyway, glad you are back, feeling better and working on healing important relationships.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. simplysandilynn says:

    I think making the decision to have surgery is much more than physical. Once we go down this path, all our demons seem to surface. I love wine, and after almost 10 weeks of not drinking it, I have started adding a glass here and there. I can tell a difference for sure.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Worlds Biggest Fridge Magnet says:

      I think if you have the ability for one or two here and there then thats fine but unfortunately I got carried away and regret it with all of my heart.
      Still, time is a healer and that is what matter, I just need to make sure my chimp starts to listen to me and not the other way around…..!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. New Journey says:

    Ahhh Haaaa – you do have a beast in you!!! Billy is learning to tame his, now you get too!!! I am going to use your words back at you my UK friend….don’t beat yourself up..!! It happens, my inner chimp is a rebel….but now you have me thinking maybe its a rebel chimp!!! Cameron think of the wonderful journey you have been on, what’s the ole saying… 3 steps forward, one step back, you my friend have taken a zillion steps, literally forward and you stumbled back a little…hey life change is not easy….we have very big, very big life styles that have to be changed….we didn’t get into the poor state of health over night and its not going to let us- let go easily….I am sorry about your good friend, but if the friendship is strong and I am pretty sure it is, you will both work this out…after all, isn’t that what good friends are for, to help each other through thick and thin of life…give it some time, but stop, and I mean stop beating yourself up….get that fucking chimp off your back and get back at it….that’s all…this was just another learning curve in your journey and I am pretty sure you won’t be doing that again….right??? Sometimes its the only way we can learn how to change…..I had a popcorn binge the other night….do I feel bad…of course…will I ever do that again…I certainly hope not, I was misereable…in all aspects, miserable. All I heard after was you and others saying don’t be to hard on yourself, stop beating yourself up….soooo I fucking got up and went to the pool the next day and worked extra hard, even though I didn’t want to, all I wanted to do was wallow in my misery…….I am pretty sure that is when I got this sinus mess, letting my body take a beating because of my rebel chimp…certainly wasn’t worth it…so my friend the proverbial saddle is waiting for you…mount up and get on with it….slow and steady…..Cameron I am glad your feeling better and on the mend – I missed your post……I was worried about you…..have a fantastic weekend and kick some proverbial but!!!! LOL I am on the way to the doctor this morning…….XXXXXXXkat

    Liked by 1 person

    • Worlds Biggest Fridge Magnet says:

      Hi Kat, that was all very sweet of you to say so. I confess to a small tear shed when you said you were sure that my friend and I would work it out. I am hoping for that because I totally dote on the friend in question, she has become very close over the past three months and it was simply the fact I would not be seeing her that for a few weeks that I let it get to me. All completely futile and pointless but mostly totally unexpected. Like you say it was a learning curve on a journey that I am still only just shy of six months into so there are bound to be mistakes. I must just try not to let them get to me. At least I have been out yesterday and today walking and plan to do more as the weekend progresses so that saddle is getting warmed up for my return to a power walk on Monday and the gym schedule on Tuesday, then the week progresses with more and more activity and getting saddle sore once again!
      The chimp is getting put in his place for sure and listening to the Chimp Paradox is certainly helping me to understand it better day by day.
      I hope you get your sinus sorted, that can be a nasty thing to suffer from for sure.
      Thank you once again.
      Cameron

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s