Good morning world and welcome to the last day of the working week.
It’s Friday everybody!
That has GOT to make you feel good.
I however make ME feel good because everyday in every way I am getting better and better.
But that is all a bit simple isn’t it.
But it is also all a bit true.
As I have said SO many times since I have started to see results, my life has changed so much that I am virtually unrecognisable to the person I once was. By this I mean that not only my physical body is changing but also my conscious and subconscious mind.
I have become a great deal more thoughtful, much more positive and far more forgiving of myself and others. I was always capable of this great feeling, of being relaxed and laid back, of being easy going but these traits were often masked by more prevalent emotions of anger, hate, resentment, frustration and the feeling of imminent doom or failure. I would so easily chose the path of least resistance to myself. The path that offered the instant gratification of annihilation or accumulation was the one I usually chose and the one I usually ended up hating myself for choosing for several days afterward.
Frank A Clark said “If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere” and over the years I have found this to be true because to get anything (and I don’t mean material goods) that is worthwhile, it takes effort and the ability to undertake the trials that are sent to test us along the way. Anything that comes easily is usually vacuous and pointless and I have had my fair share of all of them. The long life, happiness, health and love are the things I now seek over all else and these are the things that require a good deal more effort.
My health has improved dramatically over the past 5 months but it hasn’t been a complete and easy ride. I know a guy who is over a year ahead of me in his surgery recovery and he is still almost the same size he was when he started the whole process. This is a sad reality of some people not being able to take on board the changes that they themselves must make in order for this operation to be a success. When I first started out along this “journey” I wore a size 52″ waist and weighed in at 159kgs (nearly 25 stone). I was so unhealthy I couldn’t walk properly, I couldn’t stand for more than 30 seconds I could barely walk up the stairs to my apartment. I found it difficult to shop for food, I found it difficult to prepare any food other than fast microwave meals (and we all know they are loaded with salt and sugar) and I never and I mean NEVER exercised at all.
Since my operation I have had to change my life completely. I started off small and as the weight came off I continued with my personal gains. When I left hospital I was restricted to a liquid diet which in turn changed into a puree food diet then a soft food diet but to get to this stage took over two months and during that time I had begun to lose a significant amount of weight which meant I was able to start gentle exercise after the first month and continue to ramp it up slowly but surely over the next month as I still had a restrictive diet. Now this was my choice to make, I could have sat around and done absolutely noting apart from watch TV with my feet up dreaming about chips and cream cakes that I couldn’t yet eat, but I didn’t. I decided to take my life by the scruff of the neck and shake it until I started to get the results I wanted.
So I re-joined my gym, I learnt to cook healthy and fresh foods from scratch, I made a commitment to myself to walk the dog every day, to blog about myself every day and thus I became accountable to the readers otherwise I would be found out as a fraud. And slowly and surely I drew myself up and started feel like I had some worth and could offer the world something. My mental state changed from whimpering softy to capable man of knowledge. My own physical body began to shrink and as it did so my confidence began to grow. I became emboldened and found I had started to regain a little sober self belief that had been missing for so many years. I began to feel comfortable enough to embrace my own self and believe I had some worth. I found I could go to a shop and look at clothes without the assistants looking at me in such a way as to say “You ain’t never gonna find anything to wear in this shop”. I was able to make choices in clothes deciding if I like something or not instead of making do with the age old “Hobson’s Choice”. Today I weigh significantly less than my start point (over 40 kgs less) and two days ago when in the Levi’s shop I required a 36″ waist jean before I felt comfortable..
Because of all of this, because of my efforts of walking the dog each day, my efforts at the gym and in the kitchen, I have begun to see the world through new eyes and I am once again starting to feel some confidence in myself, starting to have fewer doubts and starting to realise that one day I may yet fulfil my true potential.
FOOD DIARY:Wednesday 19th August 2015
|Qty||Measure||Food||Calories (gr)||Protein (gr)||Carbs (gr)||Fat (gr)|
|2||42gms||Rye Seeded Bread||160||5.8||29.9||2|
|1||175mls||Phd Diet Whey Protein||91||17||2.75||1.4|
|Dinner||1||Small Bowl||Quinoa, Garlic Prawn and Feta Salad.||198||25||13||7.9|
So lunch wasn’t all that brilliant but it is very difficult to find a healthy option when you are out. I suppose I am just very lucky that I can only eat a small amount of food and therefore the badness is massively reduced. I will start behaving myself a good deal more now though as most of my lunch and dinner “dates” have been spent, with very few now on the horizon. This is good for my waistline but bad for my social life, still, I will survive I am sure… 😉
Yesterday saw me back at the gym and banging my usual cardio drum of 25 intense minutes before completing my strength training.
- 2 x 30 Reps 30kg Abductor machine
- 2 x 30 Reps 30kg Adductor machine
- 2 x 30 Reps 35kg Abdominal Crunch machine
- 2 x 30 Reps 35kg Lower Back machine
- 3 x 30 Reps 25kg Cable Row
- 2 x 30 Reps 20kg Chest Press
- 2 x 30 Reps 30kg Pec Deck
- 3 x 30 Reps 20kg Tricep Pull Down
- 3 x 30 Reps 8kg (each arm) Bicep Dumbell Curl
- 3 x 30 Standing Oblique 20kg Barbell Twists (15 each side)
- 3 x 30 Standing Russian Oblique Weighted Bar Twists (15 each side)
This was after a decent and quick walk with the dog along a very usual field perimeter path that he likes to go on which is captured here in Map My Walk – unfortunately the app went doolally and had me doing 5 minute kilometers, so it might have looked awesome but would not have been truthful. To this end I have taken a copy of the last time I went around the same fields…
Still, it shows where I went and helps to explain the high calorie burn of 965 that the Polar H7 captured after the gym regime and walk were both completed.
The Jawbone Up2 was running all day and gave some pleasing readings of just over 10,000 steps.
So all of this activity made me feel good, like getting back on the horse after a fall. I plan to go again tomorrow and try to do a gym workout even though I am booked in at Body Balance again in the morning. Come back tomorrow for a report if I make it out of the gym alive 😉
Stay out of the fridge.