Although it is only 11 days since my surgery I feel amazing. I have to be honest and say I am still struggling with the food that I have to eat but not in a bad way, I am struggling in the fact that I am sick fed up of sweet foodstuffs.
Oh how I long for a sausage.
Not a packet of sausages, not a plate of sausages, not even a number of sausages in amongst a plate of a fried breakfast of bacon, eggs, hash browns,mushroom, black pudding, beans….add infinitum.
No, just a sausage. A humble juicy meat flavoured sausage.
I used to eat these things with gay abandon, I used to hoover up lovely big doorstep sausage sandwiches and think nothing of it. Now things have changed and changed definitely for the better.
Yet almost paradoxically I do not find myself craving any other foods for any length of time. I suppose I now look at rich foodstuffs with a “that looks nice” but I do not act on it. Before I would have probably thought about the picture and its luxurious look and possible taste sensation and it would have eaten away at me for the rest of the day and unlike now where it would be a fleeting thought and I would rather than go for my healthy option, I would break and go for the very thing I was trying to avoid. A good habit to no longer be beholden to and so grateful of it I have not once thought about chocolate, chips, crisps, bacon sandwiches or even a good old Sunday roast dinner in the time since my operation. I also used to love a strawberry yogurt and a strawberry milk shake. Now I am scunnered by the thought of them yet every day I must obey and drink them down as it is all I am allowed.
If I could say any one thing to my fat self before I started on the road to recovery it would be to talk of moderation otherwise all of the favourite things will soon be gone in the blink of an eye because everything must change after this kind of procedure. I suppose I cannot say this to myself though I can say it to others who are considering their lifestyle. Please do think on. It’s not all roses in the garden once the op has been and gone.
That said, I regret nothing. I am far happier and more confident than I have been in a good long while. I can see a future for myself and it is a good long rosy future at that, I see myself once again travelling the world, enjoying my life, living, loving and no doubt losing. But regardless of this I once again see a life. I see a person, I see someone that can contribute, that will now feel as if he matters to others.
I know that things change and life moves on. I know that we are all different and all have different needs and aspirations I am just glad to be back in this fold where my needs and aspirations do not circle around what goes in my mouth. I have not left the house apart from twice this week and because of that I am feeling a touch stir crazy but I shall start walking again very soon as I need all of the practice I can get for when I attempt my charity walk of the Ridgeway as launched on this site all but 4 days ago. I will of course by the time I do this, be eating proper meals all be they small and taking on only the correct nutritions required, but it is only 14 months until I attempt the walk and let’s be honest it soon goes in so very quickly because 14 months ago, I was just about to write my email to Stephanie Ward of the Bariatric Service to enquire how one was elected for this surgery and now we are here, post surgery, talking about being unable to eat a simple sausage and preparing for a charity walk the likes of which I would have never considered possible before.
Quite remarkable really how this all goes to prove that its the sizzle and not the sausage that matters.
WBFM Has put all his sausages in the freezer… 😉