It’s palpable. It’s relentless. It is drawing to a close. As of tomorrow I will no longer look like I currently do, each day that follows tomorrow I shall be that little bit smaller. The final pictures of me in this condition will be broadcast this evening on BBC South News at 18.30, so tune in if you can and would like to see them. The next time you will see me things will have changed, but until then…
One more day, just one more day.
I’m not sure if I really believe it!
It’s finally almost here!
And the best thing about it? Only one more day of the pre operation liver cleansing diet and I cannot begin to tell you how happy I am that it is finally nearly over. Firstly because I have never been so hungry and desperate for carbohydrates in my entire life and secondly because tomorrow I go to the Churchill Hospital to finally undergo my gastric sleeve procedure.
I have ended at 141kgs (22 stone 3lbs or 311lbs) which is an 18kg (2 stone 11lbs or 37lbs) drop from where I started out last year at 159Kg (25 stone or 350lbs) A pretty tidy sum to be going on with I think.
I think I have done well there to lose the weight prior to surgery but please don’t go thinking that as I lost two stone in my past year of dieting that I am cured. I wrote about it in a previous post Where There’s A Will There’s A Way… And There Is A Way and I am still only just halfway through this monumental task. I am aware how many people consider the surgery to be an easy way out but it really is not. I know that after tomorrow the hard work starts in earnest, believe you me, it really does.
To quote Thomas Edison “I have not failed, I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work” Maybe thats what every day has been up to now. Maybe it was all part of life’s rich tapestry that I should go through everything that I have in order to get here.
All of the heartbreak over love that I have lost, friends I have distanced myself from and problems experienced over the years, maybe they have all been leading to this point? Maybe it is all about Karma and needing issues resolved before your life changes for the better? Maybe that is why I have had so many jobs, that I have many skills and am only a jack of all trades and master of none. It really does make you think.
As I said, today is the last day of the liver cleanse diet and believe you me, I am so pleased about that, you would never believe it.
For the past three days, now four including today 😉 I have existed on a diet of protein shakes, fruit, porridge and apples. All very nice things individually once in a while but continually? One after the other? It wears a little thin I can tell you so god only knows how I will be after tomorrow and I am on a protein diet for the next two weeks. But not a normal eating steak and chicken and tuna, no, one where I will get the protein I need from a bottle of specially prepared milkshake with 20 gms of protein already in it.
By all accounts I shall need three of these to match my 60 gms daily requirement and at this moment in time although I can see it far enough after three days of nothing but, I can honestly see no issues with chugging three bottles. The only thing is, from tomorrow, I shall have a stomach smaller than it has ever been and I am told I will struggle to get it all down over the course of a day, along with the 2 litres of water, a small yogurt, some soup and all of my medication….
I really cannot hazard any guess as to what that is like. Not being able to drink down a small bottle of drink in one go. I am told I will need to show some definite dedication to the cause of taking enough protein on board. But as I sit here writing about what might be, I am drinking a large mug of skinny latte and about to eat an apple or a yogurt, I have not decided on which yet, but regardless, either one will be despatched in no time at all, even if I dedicate my attention to it and savour every mouthful, so it is weird to think that tomorrow, I will struggle to do this. That it will take me most of the day to take on enough protein that I satisfy my body’s nutritional demands.
If you recall I interviewed a friend of mine who has had the gastric sleeve procedure and what she told me was quite amazing. Prior to surgery, she could eat over half of a 12″ pizza in one go and then over the course of a couple of hours, finish it off. Today she exists solely on fresh fruit, yogurt and ramekin sized bowls of food and actually has to remind herself to finish her dinner if she is interrupted whilst eating. A far cry from the 12″ pizza demolishing machine she once was and as she has told me many, many times, she is far better for it!
So I am headed toward a whole new way of life. The new broom will sweep the room. This afternoon I shall phone the Day Surgery Unit and I will be confirming my most definite attendance at tomorrows knife fight. I shall have no last supper, I shall have no final cold pint of fizzy cider. My old life will not go out with a bang but a very quiet and unnoticeable whimper; and do you know what? I am happy about that because it has been living life with a bang and not a whimper that has gotten me into the situation.
I look forward my new broom.
Stay out of the fridge.