You know those mornings when you wake excited for absolutely NO reason? Well I have just experienced one again for the third time this week.
Awake at 05.16 am I lay there unable to close my eyes because although tired, the feeling of excitement is coursing through my body.
I’m 46 years of age and you would think I would know better.
It feels like Christmas morning – although as a child I was probably guilty of rising even earlier… 😉 I am so giddy, I can’t keep a thought straight for long enough to see it through to completion. I am happy in a whistling and singing kind of way although at this hour in the morning, neither wants to be heard or is going to sound good at all.
What an earth is going on?
I wonder if this is new-found energy from being active or finally eating my greens and not stuffing my face full of sandwiches, pizza, chips and beer?
Or is it simply that I am excited about the prospect of finally being thin?
Yes people, time is marching on and doing its thing. Although I still have no actual date for the procedure, I am holding onto the possibility that it will be mid march as was discussed a couple of weeks ago now, with my dietician. On the whole I’ve been good with my diet, managing my fasting days as well as I possibly could and actually adding more to the weeks compliment of days where I limit my calories to approximately 900 just to counteract any previous mishaps and upcoming luncheons that I may have to attend. I know it’s easy to say just look for the low-calorie option when eating out but I do find it difficult. I’m more from the “May as well get hung for a sheep as for a lamb” school of thought. However I promise I will always endeavour to do so from this day forth – fortunately I would imagine I will only find myself out maybe once more prior to my much fabled operation so it’s a promise I am certain I can keep… 😉
So as I said. I keep waking early like an excited child. There is absolutely nothing to wake early for. I know there are no presents 😦 there is nothing new in my life to check on but yet I still feel the need to rise early and rising early isn’t the best thing to do when attempting a low-calorie day. On these days I prefer to lounge in bed until the middle of the morning, rise unhurriedly, have a good hardcore potter about with my first cup of tea and then come to the business end of the morning here at my writing station. Today, I don’t have a dog to walk, am up too early, am excited about something, have a small job to do at mums (the place where my diets go to die) I will walk but I have to be wary of the blood sugar level thing that seems to happen anytime I exert myself with no calories on board and then I will spend the remainder of the day in front this Mac writing blogs and more of a book that I have somehow managed to dream up. As I have said before, I write because I enjoy it and at the moment am really enjoying it very much as the ideas are simply flooding out of me. I sometimes wonder if that makes me a creative person? Hell, I have always been a dreamer and most people who know me would testify to that, but I never realised that I would “create” anything as tangible as a book. Maybe I wake early because I have idea’s in my head that I have to get down onto paper? For example, this morning I had the title of this post rolling around my grey matter from the moment I woke, last night I went to bed and the very last thing I did was to write some thoughts that came into my head just before I closed my eyes.
There could be a complete myriad of reasons why I wake early and excited but I am sure it really must have to do with the fact that one day soon I shall go to the Churchill Hospital in Oxford and undergo surgery that will change the rest of my life FOREVER. I shall start to lose weight and regain my own life with better lifestyle choices. I shall become much more active, happier, contented and an all round much more motivated person. In fact, when I look at how much everything will change, I cannot believe my luck.
But I can believe it is why I am so excited.
Stay out of the fridge.