It can be a very tough thing to harness but when you have it, hold on to it with both hands. I find it kind of goes hand in hand with everyday life; and in general I haven’t had any significant motivation for many years now.
“Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” – Winston Churchill.
I think I probably viewed life-like this about 20 years ago. I was unbeatable. I did what I wanted and when I wanted and very little got me down. I don’t really know what happened to that person I simply know it’s a shame that I no longer feel like I have the energy to view the opportunities that come my way with such a positively fresh perspective.
“If you do what you always did, you will get what you always got” – Anonymous.
This is definitely the way things have gone over the past years. It appears I was stuck in a massive funk and as often as I shook myself out of it I was quickly back in, getting what I always got. Nothing seemed to stick to be honest, I would start something new and manage for a while but it always defeated me in the end. I always went back to the line of least resistance.
“Try not to become a person of success, but rather try to become a person of value.” -Albert Einstein
As I matured I started to see the beauty in this statement. It wasn’t about me and what I could get, it was about me and what I could offer. I started to volunteer at things. I worked for a hospice, I helped children read in schools and I even volunteered for the Salvation Army on Christmas Day. But I am sad to say that in volunteering I am sure the reasons for doing it were in hindsight, purely selfish. It wasn’t done to show off or make people think I was a good person but in an effort to make me feel better about myself. Fortunately with time this point of view changed and I began to realise it wasn’t about me feeling better, it was about the people I was helping. It was them who were supposed to feel better.
“Your problem isn’t the problem. Your reaction is the problem” – Anonymous
This was how I had spent my time looking at the volunteering. I had viewed my life as a problem and decided that doing something supposedly unselfish I would bring back my self-esteem and make me feel good. Finally though I was fortunate enough to realise that my reaction to the problem was all wrong, I started to wake up and I could see the people I was helping were getting the enjoyment from it, my enjoyment was secondary.
“The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself.” – Mark Caine
And so I did. I took that step and started to look inwards and see exactly what the problem was. The problem was me and I was not happy. The problem wouldn’t go away overnight or with me making a show of helping other people. If I carried on like this I would remain a captive of the same environment I was currently suffocating in. I stood up to myself and made a decision to get my life back.
And now here I sit.
Writing for my own enjoyment.
Writing because it really does make me feel good.
Writing because I have started to understand that it gives me the motivation to succeed. And succeed I shall as I blog every day my simple musings and possibly naive (but definitely inane) words of wisdom. I really do enjoy it. As I said in one of my earlier pages when I set this in motion, I had been asked to do a video log or blog by Adina Campbell, a reporter from the BBC. She said it would help if there was any follow-up, too which I thought even if there isn’t, it may simply be a laugh. I was told yesterday there will be a follow-up program but this blog is definitely not a laugh.
It is my motivation.
Knowing that I have engaged at least one person in my story toward going under the knife is making me determined to succeed at the diet I am on because if I don’t, there will be no operation and thus no weight loss and I will have the proverbial egg on my face.
Failure can therefore no longer be an option.
It makes me feel great to know that I can write each day and with hand on heart, know that I have not tricked you into thinking that I have cheated on my diet. Of course I have blips but I don’t allow it stop me, because to stop me would turn this from a blog into a work of fiction and although I stretch the truth from time to time, there is nothing to be gained here from telling an outright lie. Besides you would catch me out too easily because that stories that I tell wouldn’t correlate.
I know that everyone gets their motivation for life and it’s challenges, from a myriad of different places. It could be a personal trainer or life coach, it could be motivational notes or a family member. It could even be like this, writing something to work away all of your troubles and help sooth those relentless sugary cravings.
If you do write though, don’t lie. It only hurts one person and it ain’t me.
Luckily, I can’t lie for toffee.
But I could definitely eat it.
Stay out of the fridge.