Willpower.
Something I sadly lack in massive quantities.
I start off with good intentions but they soon fall by the wayside.
In my defence though, I have never done the classic New Year resolution of “I will join the gym in the New Year and start to get fit” No, I have pretty much in the past always opted to keep eating and drinking through January, it always seemed rude not to.
Have you ever walked your dog and been in a world of perfect solace? Absolute calm and contemplation flows over you regardless of your location whether it be a park, a field, a hill-side, a mountain or anywhere you are lucky enough to get to where there is so much silence, it can almost hurt your ears for the first few minutes until you get used to it.
Living in the part of the world that I do, I find I am lucky enough to experience that almost whenever I want as it is only my timetable that offers any restriction to how often I can be faced with the view in this page heading. I often wonder if it is because I live here that no matter how many times I leave I always gravitate back. I tried Oxford for a while and then London for an even shorter spell but nothing compares to the wide open spaces we are offered just a couple of miles out-of-town. The best part is, you can drive, cycle or even walk there so again the only restriction on that is your time. I am no countryside buff, I am no ornithologist or even a photographer of it. I simply just like being surrounded by it. To me there is nothing better than sitting on the grass with so much space around you, all you can hear is the whispering grass and birdsong.
Hooray!
I have finally been informed officially of the date of my procedure.
Actually I was given the date last Friday but told not to announce to anyone until we were sure it was properly scheduled and could not be altered without good reason, so I am hoping that good reason ever comes, unless Jason takes over the operating theatre with his hockey mask on, because….
The date I was given?
Only bloody Friday the thirteenth of March!
On the days when I fast, I regularly struggle to think of a kicking off point and working out what topic I shall muse upon becomes more and more difficult. This dilemma made me wonder if there was anything in the claims of foods actually being good for the brain because I for one struggle to think of ideas when my tummy is saying “Please Sir, I want some more”. Normally I can get away with this issue as up to this week, I have only fasted for 2 days, thus leaving the other 5 to write my posts for what I call the “lean times”. Now however, I have stepped up my fasting regime and further increased the number of days I reduce my calorie content on, thus as I write today I am beginning to feel I could be spinning out of control.
I really do like my friends.
I am a very lucky person to have so many nice and supportive pals. They are interested in me, my inane thoughts and where my life is headed. Quite a nice thing to be able to say. No in fact its a great thing to be able to say.
But I honestly don’t see them enough and I know that is my own fault.
Full of fun, seems to be the ideal.
Right up until you can’t move. You can no longer get out of that chair to get the remote control to turn the TV over. Damnation! Why didn’t you pick that up before you sat down with your bacon fried onion dogs (I just made that up and I think I fancy one…) and large bucket of steak fried chicken, oh and of course your can of diet coke. Now you’ll just have to sit and watch whatever the TV station broadcasts until you can get your breath back enough to get out of that chair. But hold on, maybe you can get McDonald’s to come round and get the remote control for you, after all you are their best customer. Then you wonder if the pizza delivery guy would pick it up if you ordered a pizza…
You know those mornings when you wake excited for absolutely NO reason? Well I have just experienced one again for the third time this week.
Awake at 05.16 am I lay there unable to close my eyes because although tired, the feeling of excitement is coursing through my body.
I’m 46 years of age and you would think I would know better.
A couple of days ago I watched an infomercial about the reasons for obesity. There were some very good salient points made but I also found some of it initially difficult to swallow.
As you know I am a morbidly obese person myself. I have struggled with my weight for the past 12 years but to apportion blame elsewhere? Well I have to wonder would that be taking it too far?
The crux of the infomercial runs almost along the lines of the Horizon program stating that it is beyond a fat persons control to deal with being overweight. It claims that obesity is a disease and not a lifestyle choice and maintains that those who suffer from it require treatment and not judgement.
Due to the nature of this subject, it is quite a long read so buckle up and free yourself of chores or work for 5 minutes. You may learn some things that helps your own health too.
So eventually I am going to have had the surgery and I will need to change my eating lifestyle completely. I will now need to consider carefully every morsel that I put in my mouth. I will need to consider its size, its fat content, its sugar content and it’s carbohydrate content. I will need to work out in what order I shall eat my food and when and if I can get enough fluids into my body so that I do not begin to dehydrate. When the changes required are stacked up like this, you start to see just how much change there will actually be. There will no longer be any hunger pangs that can be resolved by a quick trip to the chip shop, I will not be able to pop into the garage when on a journey and pick up a sandwich, a bag of crisps and a can of drink to keep me going. If I am on a road trip with someone and we stop for fuel, I will probably now be telling the truth when they ask “Is there anything I can get you” and I reply in the negative telling them I’m fine when no doubt I could really eat a doughnut, a chocolate bar and a jumbo coffee. How strange will it be to go to a friend’s house, be offered a cup of tea and not really be able to drink it. This will change over time I know, the same as being able to return to chip shop for ones meal but it is these changes that my portion planning will prevent.
Remember these words? We have all heard them at some point in our lives. It’s usually just before a shocking (see unwanted) piece of news comes our way.
Whoever makes this announcement is usually about to tell their truth.
Well, “We need to talk”.
I’m afraid I have possibly been a touch economical with my truth as I appear to have been leading you up a cul-de-sac of inaccuracies and figure I had better come clean lest I be found out.
I had a thought, you are reading it.
An unchallenged assessment of a notorious and insanely wicked direct sales cult
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as everyone rushes by I savour my way one slow step at a time
