Cheating Hamburger, Yesterday

Cheater Cheater Doughnut Eater

Well, I did it!

I managed two days on reduced rations.

Hey diddle de dee a dieters life for me :-/

It has to be said once again, if I can manage two days like that, sleep well and wake late not actually feeling hungry then I am positive anyone can do it. I mean, have you seen the size of me? I’m 25 stone for goodness sake. That bad boy around my waist needs some upkeep I can tell you. As for that thing between my ears, well if that can cope with ignoring the ‘Feed Me Seymour’ signals it was getting all day it can certainly cope with anything else I may care to throw at it.

So today will see me at Fryday’s Cafe (sic) followed by a trip to McDonalds drive through and then an evening in the Pizza Express.

Yeah! Lets undo all that good I treated my body to over the past two days, lets really kick that diet to the curb. Because if I’m honest, after two days of goodness I could easily take myself off to one if not all three of the above just for my reward and then round the whole day off in the pub.

Oh Happy Days.

I remember them well, it was only last year (courtesy of the fact we are still in January) going to McDonalds for a breakfast because I was on the hop, eating a sandwich when I was piling through the miles and then finally arriving home after popping into one of the towns many fast food joints for a takeaway. All the while my brain telling me that because I had been so busy I obviously deserved the high calories I am addicted to but only because up to that point I had no doubt been good and followed my diet of the previous few days. Crazy really in hindsight, because honestly you would think I would eventually learn after dieting for so many years, always failing when things start showing signs of improvement or when I started to get active thus thinking I should once again treat myself for a job well done.

Amazing isn’t it? How the brain and body will collude to tell you that it will be okay to do these things, yet your poor old heart doesn’t even get a say, until one day when it’s too late, it simply shout’s just the once and you are off to meet St Peter at the Pearly Gates – I don’t know about you but that’s where I am headed for sure 😉

Treats are obviously deserved at times but they can so often lead to the tortured thinking (or lack thereof) that follows them. A typical food diary might look like this:

“I went out for lunch and had burger and fries because I’d done so well with my diet this week. Because I’d eaten the burger and fries, I thought I may as well have the Death by Chocolate cake to follow and drink three glasses of regular (not Diet) Coca Cola. On the way home I needed fuel (car variety) so I stopped and thought, well, as I’ve had that cake for pudding I may as well have a Mars Bar or two”.

It is a hugely difficult thing to stop the brain from taking the dieter down this illogical road occasionally. Trust me, I know from experience how tough it can be when the brain is fighting with itself saying “I really don’t want to be fat but my goodness me, I want that Mars Bar even more”

Maybe there should be no treats until the main goal is reached. Maybe there should be a daily treat. I suppose it is all down to the individual. I haven’t found the answer yet myself. I know I am on and off my diets like no there’s no tomorrow yet I still reward myself. I think in all reality, people like me cannot be trusted with treats. I know I can’t keep anything “fancy” in the cupboards because for some reason, it’s not just a couple of biscuits, it’s a whole bloody packet. It’s simple, if it’s there, I will eat it and undo all of that great work I have put in.

I suppose that is why I believe that the Gastric Sleeve is the answer for me. If I no longer have the capacity, I simply can no longer sit and eat the whole packet. Another great byproduct of the sleeve is that in removing such a large part of the stomach, it also means removing a great deal of Ghrelin (the hunger hormone) which significantly reduces the desire to eat. It follows then that during the post operative recovery, the brain can be retrained to change its habits and therefore eventually with practise, your whole lifestyle. Well thats the theory and I know I will have to work at it. This entire time since the beginning of last year has been a challenge and it will continue to be so long after the operation.

Point in fact is an article I read about a woman saying that her gastric surgery was killing her. She paid £11,000 to have the procedure and although happy with the results at first, is now convinced she is wasting away. When asked by the reporter what she ate, instead of replying along the lines of “apart from the daily vitamins, I would eat something like a small portion of chicken, some vegetables and plenty of water, topping myself up with a protein drink” But no, she simply said, a slice of bread or a bag or crisps. Amazing, paying all that money for a life saving procedure yet not having the sense to see that you can no longer eat the way you did before expect in her case, before was probably a loaf of bread and a box of crisps instead of a singular portion of one or the other.

Even I know it doesn’t work like that and trust me, I’m no Einstein.

On this occasion however, I shall be bold. Today I think I will treat my heart (other internal organs are available) to a light breakfast of scrambled eggs, a lunch of left-overs (Quinoa, Bulgar Wheat, Peppers, Mushrooms and Chicken mix) and finish the day with an evening meal of madras chicken salad. I imagine a total about 1500 calories and I although I wouldn’t be hungry after eating that in one go, I just hope that spread across the day, those ingredients work just as well to keep me that way.

‘Till tomorrow

Stay out of the fridge.

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